LeBron James Should Know Cleveland Officially Sucks … For Families. (Toronto Doesn’t.)
This is more of a public service announcement than it is an article: a public service announcement for the court of LeBron James.
King James, you are an NBA All-Star MVP. You are one of the best basketball players of all time. You are basketball.
So, please understand, we want to honour and support your greatness and your infinite potential.
To that end, there is some news we feel we need to share with you … and given that your visit to Toronto will likely end after just two games in town (with two more in Cleveland), there’s some urgency in our message.
So, with all due respect to you and your Ohio roots and Cleveland connections, here goes: Cleveland sucks.
That’s not Toronto talking.
We would never say such a thing. We’re Canadian. We’re super polite.
This is an American study talking. A study that says Cleveland has been named the second worst place to raise a family in the entire state of Ohio. The second worst out of 185 cities in the state.
Toronto, on the other hand, is ranked as one of the best cities in the entire massive country of Canada in which to raise your children.
And when you’re on the court, in a “do or die” moment, you need to focus. We don’t want you ever having to worry that your family lives in or near a second-worst city. It will be hard enough to handle playing for the second best team in the series!
We didn’t mean to lay this on you right before the Cavs take on the Raps in the conference semi-final.
But we’re worried how a guy who might be the best, can live in the second worst?
Maybe after Lowry, DeRozan and the Bench Mob show you why Toronto is Number 1, you guys can tour a few open houses as free agency is just around the corner. (FYI: Prince’s former mansion is for sale.)
With a new contract from Masai, you just might be able to afford a home here.